Nancy Parker Brummett

Listen to Your Heart

   What do Mother Teresa and Goldie Hawn have in common? A great deal more than you probably imagine.

   When Mother Teresa received her Nobel Prize, she was asked, "What can we do to promote world peace?" She replied, "Go home and love your family."

   Goldie Hawn was quoted as saying, "Women are the healers and the caretakers and the heart of a home. They are very powerful."

   So these two women, with their divergent lifestyles and their spiritual differences, have a common understanding of the importance of home and family to the future of society.

   When did so many of us lose sight of this fact? Why does anyone need to tell us what we would have known all along if we'd listened to our mothers…and to our hearts?

   I think our confusion began in the 70's and 80's when we bought into the first great lie: You can have it all. After over a decade of trying (after all, it sounded so fair, didn't it?) we were willing to admit that not only could we not have it all, we didn't even want all we had. Stress, ulcers, and heart disease included.

   Meeting yourself coming and going is one thing. Not recognizing the person you meet is another.

   After too many sleepless nights, fast-food meals, problem kids, and disoriented husbands, women stopped believing they could have it all. But not ready to give up totally, we decided to believe the lie of the 90's: You can have some of all of it.

   It's true. You can. But like lukewarm coffee, it's just not satisfying. Tired of feeling guilty at the office because of the things that aren't getting done at home, and guilty at home because of the things that aren't getting done at the office, women gathered around the coffeepot either place today are more likely to be talking about flex-time than about flexing their corporate muscles.

   The wise woman who listens to her heart knows her life is one of seasons. Chances are she will live long enough to have it all...just not all at the same time.

   The heart says it feels good to have your house in order...to control your domain with confidence. The heart says no one knows your children's needs or celebrates their joys like you do. The heart says the marriage partnership is the most important one there is.

   The lie says someone else can take care of all that. (Now, just who was that going to be again?)

   A young mom in our neighborhood makes it a daily habit to walk her school-aged daughter to the bus stop every morning. In the afternoon, she walks down to meet the bus, and together the two of them walk up the hill to their home. Usually the mom has her head tilted down listening as the little girl excitedly talks about her day, her backpack bouncing along behind her. One day, however, I watched as the two of them held hands and skipped all the way up the hill.

   That the choices I made kept me from being that kind of a mom all the time is a regret I have to live with. That I can now be that kind of grandmother is a gift I don't take for granted.

   Economic realities exist. Life is full of hard choices. But before we make them, we need to listen to wise women like Mother Teresa and Goldie Hawn . . . and we need to listen to our hearts. If we listen closely enough, we just might hear skipping.

© Nancy Parker Brummett, 2007